俄勒冈州的足球教练决定让他的队伍在每个人最喜欢的PG-13绅士俱乐部Hooters举行庆祝的季末晚餐。这听起来像是一群AX迷雾的年轻男子和一名年迈的已婚伴侣陷入中年危机的暴力冲击的标准做法，直到我们指定他是中学橄榄球队的教练，他的球员都是12岁球员的几个父母的投诉以及学区运动总监的警告都无法阻止教练 – 那些死亡的孩子们会不会喜欢他们。
Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images娱乐/ Getty Images
法国六年级的数学老师决定一些莫名的原因，他会丰富他们的学生的生活，将他们围绕着受虐的老A / V车，以欣赏Saw的精神，其中有些人可能会记得这是一部关于人的电影被迫与自己完全没有关系的数学死刑。据他的学生介绍，他在开始电影之前提供的唯一背景是宣布“今天我要向你展示你的第一部恐怖片”。
一名北卡罗来纳州的老师最近为她的荣誉生物课提出了一个有趣的作业 – 让学生用针刺他们的手指来测试他们的血型（这也恰好是拉姆角黑暗的召唤仪式的第一阶段科学男爵虽然春季学期通常会节省完整的咒语）。
MarkBrazier / iStock / Getty Images
4 Teachers Who Just Went Nuts on the Job
No one can deny that teaching is a difficult job with little in the way of tangible rewards. Some educators rise beautifully to the challenge and enrich their students’ lives, while others attempt to enrich their students’ lives and fail spectacularly. For every Edward James Olmos in Stand and Deliver, there is an Ernie Hudson in The Substitute. Here are sterling examples of that second type.
#4. Middle School Coach Insists on Taking His Students to Hooters
An Oregon football coach decided to take his team out for a celebratory end-of-season dinner at everyone’s favorite PG-13 gentlemen’s club, Hooters. This sounds like standard practice for a group of AXE-misted young men and an aged, married chaperone caught in the violent throes of a midlife crisis, until we specify that he was a coach for a middle school football team, and his players were all 12 years old. Complaints from several parents of the players, as well as a warning from the school district’s athletic director, could not dissuade the coach — those goddamn kids were going to goddamn Hooters whether they liked it or not.
Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
In his defense, it was half price wings night.
After numerous efforts to convince him to move the celebration to literally any other restaurant (preferably one where the menu consists of more than breasts, alcohol, and shitty bar food), the coach was fired.
#3. A Sixth Grade Teacher Shows His Students Saw for No Reason
A sixth grade math teacher in France decided for some inexplicable reason that he would enrich his students’ lives by gathering them around the battered old A/V cart for a spirited viewing of Saw, which as some of you may remember is a movie about people being forced to torture themselves to death that has absolutely nothing to do with math. According to his students, the only context he provided before starting the film was announcing “Today I’m going to show you your first horror movie.”
The class breathed a sigh of relief when they realized it wasn’t After Earth.
The teacher was suspended for a day, and the school is deciding upon a proper punishment, which will presumably involve someone forcing him to watch the entire High School Musical trilogy, A Clockwork Orange style.
#2. A Biology Teacher Has Students Draw Their Blood Using the Same Needle
One North Carolina teacher recently came up with an interesting assignment for her honors biology class — have the students prick their fingers with needles to test their blood type (this also happens to be the first stage of the Summoning Ritual of the Ram-Horned Dark Baron of Science, although the complete incantation is typically saved for the spring semester).
“It’s cool; I saw this in a documentary.”
However, the blood-testing kit only came with enough needles for one class, so the teacher figured that meant she was supposed to just rinse them off and reuse them, because she apparently skipped several important lectures on the road to her teaching degree. One of the students mentioned this staggering failure of basic medical waste-handling knowledge to their parents, and the teacher was fired.
#1. A Substitute Teacher ODs on Heroin in Class
Last month, a substitute art teacher took a small break in the middle of the day from whatever it is art teachers do that requires a break. When he came back to the classroom, he sat down and passed right the hell out at his desk, because doing heroin on school property is hard work.
Neither Tom Berenger nor Treat Williams would tolerate such shenanigans.
A school resource officer and a handful of administrators were finally able to shake the sub back from the land of the sleeping dragons and discovered four packets of heroin in his pocket, which for all you non-heroin users out there is a fucking lot of heroin. He was arrested, although admittedly he did manage to provide one of the best lessons any high school art class has ever been taught.